Like many, I slowed down for the summer.
My church gig as Director of Music for an historic church and fabulous congregation gives me five weeks in the summer to rest and refocus, a sabbatical of sorts. The practical side of this is that they cannot afford to pay me what I am truly worth, so I gratefully take the time they give me instead.
For fives Sundays I have the chance to attend other churches in my community and around my great state. I attend every kind of worship in the Christian genre, from the mainline to the non-denominational, from the liturgical lined out in paper hymnals kind of worship to the spirit moved screen led kind of worship, from organs to pianos, bagpipes to cowbells, and everything in between.
I return with likes and plans to incorporate, as well as dislikes and disparaging words. Worship brings out the critic in me. I can’t just sit on my hands and keep my mouth shut. My main complaint? I find across all expressions that worship often focuses on a human centered agenda to direct rather than welcoming a spirit filled presence to lead.
And being one of those humans who leads Christian worship, I am quite often guilty of that which I disparage.
I hear words, many words. Words set to music, music as words, words in pictures, pictures as words. Words are exchanged in fellowship before and after, helpful words as I navigate a new space. Words of expectation, Welcome, and glad you are here. Words with handshakes. Words with donuts and coffee (or in my case, tea.)
If there is one thing I always ruminate on after exiting, tea in hand, is that WORDS MATTER. That’s it. Words matter because our actions spring directly from our words. I returned back from sabbatical and took a month to contemplate the potency of words before jumping back into the fray.
Here then are my words to add to the public discourse at the horrific event of a political assassination, an assassination I would argue, that has its beginnings in the words used.
An assassin shot and killed Charlie Kirk on Wednesday. One bullet. He was the target.
I’m sure he will be missed by those he loved and those who loved him. He has a wife and two small children. Their lives are forever changed. Many offer up their thoughts and prayers.
I have been told that in private, Charlie was a loving father and kind person. But I didn’t know him in private. All I can truly know is his public words. And what I have heard and seen of his words in public is the purposeful use of words to dismiss and dehumanize.
This is a man who stated quite clearly that he did not believe in empathy, made a habit of belittling anyone who wasn’t a white male and preached hatred against other human beings.
Should he have died for his words?
Of course not.
But he’s not the first American in politics to die by gun violence.
Not this month.
Not this year.
Not this decade.
Not this century.
Not in any century.
Several times, in his own words, Charlie made it very obvious that he believed a few deaths by gun violence, a few sacrifices for our Second Amendment rights, are acceptable.
Did he mean his own death, as well? The irony should not be lost on anyone.
So here’s me being honest…
Does my opinion of him change now that he’s dead?
Does he now get a white-wash pass of all his vitriolic teachings and preachings knowing that he was assassinated?
Am I shocked that an assassin purchased a gun and targeted him?
No, no and no.
If anything, he is now a martyr to a cause. I am sure many words, again, lots of public words, will be spoken of him being shot down in his prime.
But what will this young man’s legacy be?
How will he be remembered?
Will he be remembered?
We live in a culture that hoards words and yet forgets what was said yesterday.
Beyond the big picture, I am personally left with two things that can be true at once, the paradox of being a thinking, feeling human being.
I can be concerned that Charlie Kirk was assassinated because the ability to murder is a heinous flaw in human character, but I cannot pretend that Charlie Kirk’s death means anything to me other than a resounding affirmation that words matter.
Peace