There’s a scene in one of my favorite movies - 2010: The Year We Make Contact - when a Russian Cosmonaut and an American astronaut, having developed a friendship whilst working together on a mission to save all humanity, stumble over the nuances of the English language. It goes something like this…
Says the cosmonaut to the astronaut after completing an important task- That was a piece of pie.
The astronaut gently corrects him- No, no, no. It’s a piece of CAKE.
The cosmonaut is confused.
It’s a piece of CAKE, easy as PIE, continues the American astronaut.
The cosmonaut remains confused. What is difference? Cake? Pie? he says. You eat both?
Yes. What indeed is difference?
A piece of Tariff, easy as Tax?
A piece of Tax, easy as Tariff?
A difference without a distinction.
In a crack made as visible as the view out my window of my neighbor’s butt bending over to start his compressor, Elon Muck expressed his autocratic, techno bro, smarter than shit tendencies by calling long time Trump economic advisor and fellow clown with a blow torch Peter Navarro a “moron” and “stupid as a sack of bricks”.
Firstly, Elon, you should be of the age whilst growing up in apartheid South Africa to have watched enough Loony Tunes and Bugs Bunny to know that the correct pronunciation of that insult is MAROON. You folks had all sorts of names for half breed kids and the other ‘parasites’ of society.
Secondly, it’s TON of BRICKS and a SACK of POTATOES, not a SACK of BRICKS. Anyone who shops for food and buys what Trump calls groceries knows that potatoes come in various sizes of bags or SACKS.
What’s that, you say? You didn’t have Bugs Bunny in Johannesburg? Your blak servants put a different set of cartoons on the telly for you Saturday morning?
Wait, what’s that you say? You left behind your white nationalist ways when you emigrated to the US before your eighteenth birthday to avoid mandatory service in the army fighting the deadly border wars? You didn’t want to end up like your fellow white nationalists? Shipped home like a sack of potatoes?
And you’ve never shopped for that thing Trump calls groceries? Wait a gosh darn minute there, you American as pie cowboy! Have you never shopped at Lowe’s to buy supplies for making manly man renovations to one of your homes with one of your baby mamas and seen the proverbial ton of BRICKS on a pallet? Maybe on the same trip when you went to buy that sack of POTATOES at the GROCERY store?
Here’s another insult for you Elon, perhaps uttered by one of your baby mamas.
You SACK of SHIT.
Ah, saying that felt good.
Easy as pie. Piece of cake.
Peace.